| MOVED! (again) |
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April 2nd, 2007 @ 4:47pm
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decided that livejournal is stale and hence, have moved in seek of better pastures:}
www.safarisauce.wordpress.com
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| insecurities that come from within. |
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March 30th, 2007 @ 10:36pm
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been eating a bit too much than i should the past couple of days that i'm starting to worry about myself, about my diet. scared of over-eating and taking a step into the unsafe weight zone that i've put for my ownself. yeah, i should be controlling what i eat but its a bit hard isn't it when at home you've practically got everything in the kitchen. from ice-cream to biscuits to cereal to sumptuous meals. i'm inclined to swith to caffeine every time i feel the urge to indulge on something sinful but we all know that that is a bad habit. i have no idea when i started to worry so much about the way i look and how i want others to judge me based on my appearance. the idea itself disgusts me and i do find myself disgusting as for now.
lately, i have been thinking about my university applications and just thinking and thinking about it. i don't want to choose my choice of courses based on what others think are good and relevant in today's society. but its easier said than done when the whole hoo-haa about it is unavoidable. i am positive that this is what i want and i am going to stick by it no matter what. support is of course essential and i can only hope that i'll get as much of it as i can.
during tutoring tonight with my primary 5 tutee, we had a very casual and an indirect heart-to-heart talk. as i learn more about her and as she knew more about me, i came to realised that the both of us are not that much different after all. in terms of character that is. as i revealed to her the journey of my life thus far (cheydebah seh), i noticed that i have come a long way. i'm not trying to 'masuk bakul angkat diri sendiri' but thinking back about who i was four to five years ago, i am glad that i didn't turn out otherwise although i had the opportunity to do so. and i am just thankful for what i am and what i have right now.
i have alot of insecurities issues just like everyone else. well, unless you're someone who thinks you're just so perfect but even so, that is entirely impossible. although i can't shake off those insecurities and fears that i have almost too instantly, i know i can slowly work towards it. no matter how big or how small they are.
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| ayam penyet and penyet hair. |
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March 25th, 2007 @ 8:09pm
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after ugama class today, the whole family took a drive to parkway parade. it sucks being stuck at home on a weekend, feeling all bored. so at parkway parade, i finally finally(at last!) got around to buying my mp3's earphones. didn't exactly got the ones that i wanted which were the ones in orange-since my creative zen micro is in orange-but i managed to get the ones in white. plus, you could change the colours of the earphones. after walking around parkway parade, the parents decided to have late lunch at the famous waroeng penyet.
 
we ordered ayam penyet and daging penyet. the ayam penyet there was quite expensive as compared to the usual ayam penyet at changi but it was worth the money. they had more ingredients, the sambal was power! and the ayam was tender and soft. very nice meal and a very satisfying one i must add, that will leave your stomach gasping for air. seriously. although, according to bapak, he still has not yet found any ayam penyet in singapore that can be as good and as power as the ayam penyet that we had at batam previously. that one was the bomb and it tops them all. still on the search.
hence, after a fulfilling meal, we no longer toured the mall but went home straight due to very very full stomachs. after coming home, i-being the good sister-accompanied kak dhirah to the neighbourhood hairdressing salon since she wanted to trim her hair.
 
 
that's kak dhirah. as for me, i didn't get a haircut though. i have been meaning to do something about this scraggly hair of mine, like maybe making it nicer or flatter (penyet hair does sound cool) but then, i figured that i'll just let it grow long. it has been a while since i have long hair. throughout my years as a student, the most frequent option for me was having short hair. guess it was just easier.
sunday. that means only one thing: ugly betty!
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| unexpected wake up calls. |
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March 23rd, 2007 @ 10:05pm
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got the same call today as i got yesterday morning at 6.50 am. i was soundly asleep after solat subuh at 6.30 am that i didn't expect the calls at all for these two days. and the calls had the same request : asking me to do relief for the morning session. woke up and rushed to get ready. luckily tampines primary is just about 15 minutes walk from home cause if not, i would have declined their offer as they expected me to be in school by 7.30am. reached school abit late at 7.40am but lessons went as per normal for the rest of the day.
yesterday's relief was fun as i had to mostly relief 3 Hope for most of their lessons except for physical education. the main highlight was after recess where all the primary 3s had to stay in the hall to watch a video on metamorphosis. after the whole video was over, every student would receive a caterpillar in a clear plastic box which they would have to look after and record the life stages of the caterpillar into a butterfly. kind of like a science project. mixed reactions from the students. some were excited, some were scared and some were just plain not affected by it. when we went back to the classroom, of course there was alot of commotion going on. " teacher! my caterpillar is dead. it's not moving." "teacher! my caterpillar is trying to escape!" "why is the caterpillar ugly?" "is my caterpillar a male or female?" hahahaha..." :) the commotion got louder when i assigned them to clean out the caterpillar's poo. it was a riot i tell you. i had to act all brave since some of the students-mainly the girls-were scared to take out the caterpillar. i had to do it. never did i ever imagine myself doing that. some of the boys were brave enough and i asked them to help the others. it was quite an experience dealing with the caterpillars and a hyper class of primary 3s.
 
  that's my primary 5 Foundation. had to relief them for art and craft. didn't do anything much during that lesson except asking them to complete their previous art project. 5 Foundation was one hell of a class and they sure were noisy. very noisy. but, so far, they're on my list of the most memorable class. i had to relief them yesterday but today when they bumped into me, they still took the time to have a chat with me. regardless of whether they were boys or the girls.
today, the whole day i was facing primary 6 classes for maths. not my best subject but i survived:) i foresee that next week, i'll be getting the same morning calls as well. if not, i think i'll still be getting calls. hopefully ya? :)
after school, it was a short meet up with azri since i only had to take the morning session classes. you know, sometimes i don't know whether i fit into the title of a selfish bitch. don't get me wrong, i have non intentions of carrying that condemn title but i'm just wondering if whatever i do makes me one? i know i try to please people and try my best not to hurt others and to put others first instead of me but i am only human and sometimes people make mistakes. i am not trying to push the blame to others instead of to myself first but at times, the other party has to reflect as to whether who is the one at fault before hurling those accusations. i was brought up with the notion of always blaming yourself first and always finding your own faults regardless of whether you are in the wrong or not. in that way, you won't see the bad in others and at the same time you can improve your own character. but, it gets harder to do that when i get older even though it should be the alternative since you get more mature as you age. but as you grow, you meet more people, and with that, comes more dramas and issues. guess you just have to deal with it whether you like it or not. hopefully i'll be able to deal with it the right way.
but, if i can't deal with it the right way, there's nothing that a good run around the park can't do to help ease the anger and frustration pent up inside.
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| cute relief experiences. |
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March 21st, 2007 @ 11:38pm
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got a call yesterday morning around 10.30 am asking me to do relief teaching for a malay teacher at tampines primary school. the call caught me by surprise but by 11.30 am, i was already in school doing relief. had to relief a primary 4, primary 2 and primary 1 malay class for yesterday and today. lessons started officially at 11.30am and ended at 5pm by which, i can already head on home without having to wait for flag lowering. as a whole, the whole relief teaching thing was okay i guess. the teacher who assisted me was cool and young and we talked about how she ended up being a teacher. got to know a certain teacher who happened to be a certain someone's-that i know just by name-sister. she was nice although i think she might have been a tad freaked out to learn that i know more than i should about her sibling. haha, maybe i came off as a stalker? :) teaching primary 1 and primary 2 was fun especially teaching the primary 1s to read. spelling out syllable by syllable and then reading together. there was a certain caucasian boy in the primary 1 malay class who didn't understand a single word of malay and kept on conversing with me in english. the most hectic lesson has by far got to be with the primary 4s. i guess its because they're a bit older and hence, they tend to stick to their own opinions and decisions. i gave up halfway trying to get the class to keep quiet cause they were just too noisy. guessed they must have sensed how pissed i was that they began to settle down. haha...tahu pun korang.
the primary 1s and primary 2s were very sweet and cute. since they knew that i was only doing relief for their malay class for yesterday and today, they gave me something to remember them. one girl in the primary 2 malay class that goes by the name q.laily, cut out a heart shaped card and wrote " i love you, you love me, we are happy family and we and we love you. do you have boyfriend?" in the card which she drew a nice cute picture too. a boy named erfan asked me for a piece of paper which he then drew a picture of a bunny and coloured it and then cut it out and gave it to me. "ni untuk cikgu!" he said and smiled. i left the primary 2 class smiling :) as for the primary 1 class, one girl-murshidah-gave me stickers and a winx club badge and a cute but naughty boy gave me a card and i asked him what it was for. he replied, "i want to write i love you!". i ruffled his hair and told him not to be too naughty:)
came back home in quite a rush and then it was off for tutoring on both nights. quite a day huh? yeah.
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